Our man Teddy Kennedy is a hurtin unit. We love the dude over at The Community, but the time has come to start looking for a replacement. His successor will be honorably serving the greatest state in the Union, so we better be sure he or she is a decent bastard!
The Community would like to put in its two cents in the matter by offering some suggestions and some reasons why Massachusetts (and our country) may be better served with one of the following people in office.
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Kevin Costner – The bastard freakin played JFK in the movies and at this point is probably the only mother fucker who could bring back the Kennedy mystique. Crash Davis, Ray Kinsella, The Bodyguard, Roy McAvoy, our next senator. Wordlife!
- Bill Belichick – Probably the most obvious choice of the people, but we’d have to work out some arrangement where he still coaches the Pats while serving in the Senate. Sooner or later, there’s a very decent chance that the people will demand that Belichick runs our entire country. The smartest man alive — bar none.
- Marshall Mathers – This dude needs somethin to rhyme about and I’m sure serving in the Senate would provide some decent material for spitting. I also think he’d bring a new brand of politics to Washington — more swear words, new ways to battle, and more callin people out. Will the real Massachusetts Senator please stand up?
- Verne Troyer (Mini-Me) – Wouldn’t it be great to have a midget Senator!?!?! Puny little bastard waddling around the Senate floor, head butting Hilary Clinton in the cooter, this guy would play jokes non-stop. It seems like everyone gets in a goofy and carefree mood when there’s a midget around.
- Jeff Reardon – Old reliable can seal the deal any day of the week and like the California Governor, he’s also sometimes referred to as “The Terminator.” If it wasn’t for Lee Smith, we’d have statues of Reardon on pretty much every block. He’s one of Massachusetts’ favorite sons.
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[...] that will allow him to appoint a successor rather than wait months to hold a special election. Decent Community has some good suggestions as to who should replace the legendary Kennedy. … Did anyone else catch the Celebrity Roast of Joan Rivers on Comedy Central last week? [...]