(Cronus, pictured above, was also known for siring mad kids)
Walking home from work yesterday, I was startled when a couple I’d say was in their late thirties tapped me on the shoulder while waiting to cross an intersection. “Excuse me, SIr. Would you mind if we had a moment of your time?”
“Not at all. You guys seem like beautiful people.”
We walked under a tree when the lady says this: “Sir we’ve been staring at you for, like, seven minutes. We followed you to this intersection to ask you a question.”
“Please, bring it,” I said.
“We’d like you to sire our first child. You remind us of Bruce Willis.”
“Decent!” I said. “When do we get to bone?”
“How does, like, two minutes sound?” asked the suddenly wicked hyper guy. “We’re just parked around the corner!”
So all three of us took off like world-class sprinters toward their car — a white Ford Escort (perfect for boning). The guy hopped in the drivers seat and the chick hopped on my rod and we drove a few laps around the Boston Common while I sired the next Bruce Willis look-a-like.
After planting the seed, the car came to a screaching halt, and both the guy and the lady tossed me outta their rig. “Thanks for you man-juice you decent bastard!” the lady shouted as I rolled to the sidewalk.
I’m hoping more people have the opportunity to sire children, because I have to say, it was one of the more decent experiences I’ve had in some time! These fun people were doing whatever they could in order to fascilitate one of the most decent things you can do – procreating. Siring is just one approach to reproducing — which, when it comes down to it, is the purpose of every species’ existence.
