Nieces and nephews were out in full force last night for what was anticipated as Boston’s concert of the century. Jesse and the Rippers came to town and discharged a huge hunk of euphoria at Saint’s Exeter Street digs, and those who were there are already calling it the finest musical exhibition the hub has ever witnessed.
In a city with a well-chronicled rock n’ roll pedigree, Jesse Katsopolis gave new meaning to rocking the fuck out of Beantown. Jamming the shit out of such hits as “Forever” and “I’m Gonna Freakin Kill You,” Katsopolis and his band of erotic looking sex addicts/musicians had the whole crowd naked just one minute into their first number. Puddles of sweat three and four inches deep accumulated throughout the venue, and the only complaint of concert goers was that the puddles weren’t deeper.
Opening this legendary night of music was full-bodied and exceptionally round-tittied turntablist DJ Tanner, who somehow has mastered a technique where she scratches records with her nipples and manipulates beats with her fat, juicy ass. During her performance several members of the audience could be heard screaming, “I’m getting a boner!”
Of course, there were no shortage of celebrities on hand. Perhaps the signature moment of the night came when a noticably coked-up Ashley Olsen sat in with the band for a rendition of crowd favorite ”I’m Gonna Chainsaw off Your Dick or Your Boobs (depending on what sex you are).” To say Katsopolis and his Rippers brought down the house would be a vast understatement.
After the show, an out of breath fan stumbled out of Saint wearing only a condom. When asked if he could describe what he just witnessed, he paused for a few moments and let out a slow but poignant moan, “That… was decent.”
Filed under: bars, boston, decent bastards, events, local, tunes
