Despite what you may think, Booty Calls are not just sticking your head out the window and yelling “Booty Call! Booty Call!” (Although that can work on occassion.) Booty Calls are an art form, and luckily for our readers, Decent Community has mastered the craft. Today, we share our expertise.
The Booty Call, of course, starts with a phone call — 1-800-SEX-ASAP for instance. Just be sure you’re calling someone who is gonna put out. 1-800-POON-NOW is another. If your slampiece picks up the phone, you’ve made it past the hardest part. Now it’s time summon your soft/horny voice:
“Hey Fuckbuddy, what do you say we fuck till six in the mornin?” or “It’s time for some hanky panky! Heeheehee!!” or ”Oh, you’re so dirty! Let’s get our freak on!” These lines are as good as gold. If you choose not to use them, try some kind of variation.
When is a good time to make the call? Think of it like a late night snack — whenever you’re craving! Like when you wake up at 4 am with a fat boner, or you’ve been watching Cinemax and ache for the real thing, or basically any time you’re yearning for some red-blooded body-slappin.
Booty Calls are not real relationships. They’re just about quick scores. So Booty Calls don’t happen with your girlfriend/boyfriend. They have nothing to do with movies, dinners, or general courtship at all. They’re about beer goggles, and skanks, and hittin it and quittin it. That’s all.
So next time you’re inner nympho surfaces, please consider doing a Booty Call. Just be clear there’s a mutual understanding (contract above, if necessary). Getting your rocks off is enjoyable, because deep down inside, we’re all just horndogs looking to bust a load on someone’s chest.
Filed under: events, pop culture, questions, romance, style Tagged: | art, cravings, intercourse, late night, late night snacks, love, phone, positions, sex
Thanks for the tips, Tubesteak. I now have all the ammo I need to so some serious Booty Call hunting