Thursday Ramblings

Posted on November 5, 2009 by fugaze

Two big thumbs up for the Rose Alley Ale House’s Halloween Party last Friday. Two highlights: The two girls dressed as hookers making out with each other (and everyone around them), and the guy dressed like the Jagerbomb Dude walking around saying “I shower in that shit” while double-fisting Heinekens. Got a few minutes? Vote on CollegeHumor’s Halloween Costume contest. What a great display of creativity. I voted thumbs up for the two guys dressed up as Mortal Kombat and NBA Jam arcade machines. Good brainstorming for next year, too. … Could A-Rod sound any gayer than his remarks on the podium after last night’s win? … Those of you who are already sick of it getting dark at 4:30 should move to Arizona, Hawaii or Puerto Rico, the three spots in the U.S. that don’t set the clocks back. Why? Well Puerto Rico’s decision has to do with its latitude and longitude. Hawaii is already in its own time zone anyway and Arizona, well good question. Google doesn’t seem to know either. Guess just another reason why Arizona is a very decent state. … As if being Irish wasn’t awesome enough already, a new study finds that an Irish accent is the world’s sexiest. Past top holder, the weak French accent, fell all the way to fourth, behind Italian and Scottish. The study, which interviewed more than 5,000 chicks, also says that 60 percent of those chicks have banged someone just because of their accent. Decent. Sucks to be an American in this discussion though as the U.S. was just 10th on the list. … This week’s sign of the Apocalypse: Snuggie For Dogs. Yes, those gay Snuggie commercials are now advertising ones made especially for your little Muffy. Here’s the deal, dog-lovers, two Snuggies and two recordable dog tags for $14.95. Ouch. … Three links for your reading enjoyment this Thursday: 1) Bear mauls two terrorists hiding out in a Middle Eastern cave; 2) You knew this was coming on Halloween — A guy gets a DUI while wearing a breathalyzer costume; and 3) Meet the person being billed as the next Steve Irwin. … Two thumbs way up for Law Abiding Citizen. This week’s not-that-bold prediction: Gerard Butler is headed to superstardom in the next two years. … Happy 68th birthday to folk legend Art Garfunkel. Did you know that the less-successful half of “Simon and Garfunkel” is a bibliophile? Nothing bad, just maybe considered a reading addict. On his Web site, he shares a list of every book he’s read with over 1,000 entries. … Happy 32nd birthday to porn star Brittany Skye. What sets her apart from all the other decent ladies of porn? She ducked under the ropes in the final round of the 2003 U.S. Open, ran onto the putting green topless with “Golden Palace Casino” stenciled on her boobs and gave a flower to Jim Furyk. She spent two nights in jail and was fined for the incident. In true Thursday Ramblings fashion, here’s Skye in action.

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Emails Hurt IQ More Than Pot

Posted on November 4, 2009 by tubesteak

Decent Community has been alerted to a recent study that says people distracted by their Blackberrys and iPhones suffer a greater loss of IQ than a person smoking marijuana. So for all you people out there who think toking herbs isn’t decent, maybe they should consider chilling out with the emails and texts.

This study makes total sense. I picture all those chicks out there who walk around holding their phones with their palm up (above, pic #1), ravaging their little devices like a squirrel attacking the season’s last acorn. Shouting things like “Like!” and inputting prose like “OMG 2much!” as their IQ deteriorates into something smaller than a pointy little nipple.

To everyone — take a breather from technology. Clear that noggin of yours every once in awhile. It’s probably better to not know what’s going on every second of everyone’s life. The habit intensifies to the point where you’re not thinking for yourself and not relying on yourself. If you have difficulty ripping yourself away from your Blackberry, maybe some grass will mellow you out – you’d be lowering your IQ anyway, right?

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How Badass is Dolph Lundgren?

Posted on November 3, 2009 by fugaze

Dolph Lundgren saved his wife’s life without lifting a finger.

Our tale takes place in May and was first reported by The Daily Mail. Armed robbers busted into Lundgren’s Spanish villa. The three men tied up his wife, Anette Qviberg, and forced her to hand over cash and jewels.

Who knows what would have happened next if one of the men didn’t see a family photo of Lundgren and the woman in one of the bedrooms. Immediately after seeing the photo and realizing it was the home of Ivan Drago, the three men fled the home, leaving all the cash and jewels behind.

There’s no question in my mind that if Lundgren, the 6-foot-5 black belt best known for his work in Rocky IV, were home, neither of the three men would have made it out in one piece.

On a side note for anyone who thinks Lundgren is just some big, dumb toughguy: He holds a master’s degree in chemical engineering and has a genius-level IQ of 160.

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Alan Francis is Our Decent Bastard of the Week

Posted on November 2, 2009 by tubesteak

“I let the ringers do the talking.” So says Alan Francis, one of the greatest horseshoe pitchers the world has ever known. This mustachioed marksman has won a record-setting 15 Men’s World Horseshoe titles since 1989. During one tournament, Alan Francis threw a record 64 consecutive ringers! Talk about a Burlington Shower! Talk about Alan Francis being named our Decent Bastard of the Week!

The good-natured Francis is not only a tremendous shoe tosser — he’s also a decent guy. Known as the game’s greatest ambassador, he’s the ultimate celebrity on the horseshoe circuit. “Even his opponents like him,” says Paul Stewart, president of the National Horseshoe Pitchers Association (NHPA). “He’s a polite and humble winner.”

Francis, who works as a salesman for a commercial printing company when he’s not throwing ringers, could get any chick he wants. But in a move displaying ultimate allegiance to horseshoes, he married a babe who is also a world-class shoe tosser. “She is the ringer for my ‘metal stake,’” says Francis.

While most of us have wet dreams of possessing Alan Francis’ sharp-shooting prowess, he recognizes his duty as the world’s pre-eminent horseshoe sniper. ”I have a God-given talent that I shouldn’t waste,” he says. ”I want to be as good as I can be, because I know people enjoy watching people throw ringers.”

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Decent Football Picks, Week 8

Posted on October 30, 2009 by fugaze

Imagine how much your team would suck if you played against Peyton Manning every week?

Enter Exhibit A: The Detroit Lions. While better than winless teams like St. Louis, Tennessee and Tampa, the Lions are playing like a winless team. They are allowing opposing quarterbacks to post an average rating of 118.7, the highest in the league and slightly higher than Manning’s league-leading 114.5. So if you break it down, the Lions play against a slightly better version of Manning every Sunday. No wonder they suck.

Football guru Jonathan Comey from The Standard-Times and SouthCoastToday.com is an expert at numbers and how they tell the story of NFL teams, like the “improved” Lions. What are some of the other numbers he’s come across?

  • The Miami Dolphins lead the league in third-down conversions (53.8%), are second in time of possession (34:46) and fifth in rushing (4.8 yards per attempt) but sit at a measly 2-4 record.
  • Remember how much Rex Grossman sucked? He threw interceptions on 3.64% of his passing attempts. But hey, everyone in Chicago thinks Jay Cutler is Jesus, even though he throws picks on 4.78% of his 2009 attempts.
  • Buffalo rookie safety has 91 yards on five interceptions in the last three games. In that same span, Terrell Owens has 10 catches for 84 yards.

Read more from guru Jonathan Comey at sports.southcoasttoday.com.

Lord Helmet led the way again last week with an impressive 9-3-1 showing. The push comes courtesy of the Houston Texans, who beat the weak San Francisco 49ers by just three points. Anytime your team benches its starting QB in the middle of a game, you should beat it by more than a field goal. Tubesteak was second with a decent 8-4-1 week while Fugaze remains in the hole with a 6-6-1 week. Overall standings: Helmet (63-38-1), Tubesteak (55-46-1) and Fugaze (47-54-1).

Anyway, here are the lines on this weekend’s games. The spreads are taken from Las Vegas, the mecca of everything that is decent: Denver (+3½) at Baltimore, Cleveland (+13½) at Chicago, Houston (-3½) at Buffalo, Brett Favre (+3) at old Brett Favre, San Francisco (+12) at Peyton Manning, Miami (+3) at New York Jets, St. Louis (+4) at Detroit, Seattle (+9½) at Dallas, Oakland (+16½) at San Diego, Jacksonville (+3) at Tennessee, Carolina (+10) at Arizona, New York Giants (pick) at Philly and Atlanta (+10) at New Orleans.

Helmet Head’s picks: Denver, Cleveland, Houston, Green Bay, Peyton Manning, Miami, Detroit, Dallas, San Diego, Jacksonville, Arizona, G-Men and New Orleans

Tubesteak: Baltimore, Cleveland, Buffalo, Minnesota, Peyton Manning, Miami, Detroit, Dallas, San Diego, Jacksonville, Arizona, NY Giants and New Orleans.

Fugaze: Denver, Chicago, Houston, Green Bay, Peyton Manning, Miami, Detroit, Seattle, Oakland, Jacksonville, Arizona, Giants and Falcons.

So how do we see the rest of the Pats season shaping up?

Tubesteak: “If the Pats season were a sex romp, seven thrusts would have been executed. And like what usually happens after seven thrusts, ooze has been shot. But don’t worry, it wasn’t a serious load, and the second wave of thrusts are more enjoyable for everyone because they go deeper (playoffs) and there’s a better climax (Super Bowl). So by my count, there’s still 12 thrusts left — and I see each one becoming more exceptional than the previous. As the squad gels into something resembling Ron Jeremy, look for the Pats to pound away on other teams — until they’re finally crowned as the best fuck in the NFL.”

Fugaze: The bye week couldn’t have come at a better time for the Pats. Come back from Europe with an easy win and watch as the rest of the league beats each other up for another Sunday. New England’s next opponent, Miami, will have its hands full against Mark Sanchez this weekend and should be a little drained when they come to Foxboro next weekend. After the Fish it’s at Peyton Manning (never easy) then hosting the NY Jets. This is make-or-break time for the P-Men.

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The Lighter Game

Posted on October 30, 2009 by tubesteak

Nothing says “I’m a chill-ass stoner” like the lighter game. Smoke a doob or two, maybe throw on some jams and creatively balance a lighter on the back of your hand. It’s total freestyle. Improvise, go with the flow — be smooth. Explore your range.

How do you play? First you have to mellow out. Then you stand up and toss the lighter around and balance it on the back of your paw. You can play solo, but the vibes are better with more people involved — more sharing going on, tapping into the communal spirit. That sort of thing.

People who are dank at the lighter game are the same people you want to become friends with. They obviously have their shit together and give off an artful aura. These guys are expressing themselves through an otherwise non-existent medium by taking the lifeless lighter, adding their own colorful and imaginative stylings, and thus rendering their own version of what is and what isn’t.

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Phish Festivalography

Posted on October 29, 2009 by tubesteak

Phish’s Festival 8 is upon us, going down this weekend in Indio, CA. Sure to be a great time. To honor this occasion, Dece Community wanted to share a very heady program that just went down over the past week on Sirius/XM radio called Phish Festivalography.

The program chronicles all seven festivals — Clifford Ball, Great Went, Lemonwheel, Camp Oswego, Big Cypress, It, Coventry — through interviews with band members and jams. There’s also a preview of Festival 8. You get some really cool, insightful, interesting commentary from Trey, Mike, Fishman, and Page – things like how they named and concepted the festivals, the first glow stick war, eating heavy-duty pot brownies, and the hardships at Coventry. That’s just a small sampling of the material.

The choice jams interspersed throughout the program are also bad-ass. Give this shit a listen. Each part is about an hour long, but if you’re a Phish phan we have no doubt this will be a decent investment of your time.

DOWNLOAD PHISH FESTIVALOGRAPHY: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

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Thursday Ramblings

Posted on October 29, 2009 by fugaze

The treasure security business got a big wake-up call 45 years ago today. On Oct. 29, 1964, several major gems valued at millions of dollars were stolen from the American Museum of Natural History in New York City. Dubbed the “jewelry heist of the century,” the thieves were hardly the kind you see planning these major heists in the movies. According to historical records, the alarm system at the museum was not working and the second-story window of the room that housed the precious jewels was always left open for ventilation. When the thieves climbed through the window, they also found that the alarms on the jewelry cases were not working. Now that’s what I call security! The three thieves were caught in a matter of days and all the gems were returned, except for the Eagle Diamond, which was never seen again. One of the thieves became famous, “Murph the Surf,” because aside from robbing museums, he was also a surfing star, circus performer, movie stuntman and a concert violinist. … If I had an iPhone, I would absolutely get the Red Laser app. For those of you who aren’t in the tech loop, it allows you to scan any barcode with your phone, which instantly can price-match, find product reviews or remind you about the product at a later date. It was the No. 1 paid-for application at the Apple App Store last week and is starting to pick up steam. For those of you who do own iPhones, here’s a handy list of the top 10 apps that can save you cash. … Three links for your reading enjoyment this Thursday: 1) Correctional officers training to be K-9 handlers arrested for bestiality. “If you masturbate your K-9 unit, you’ll have greater control over it;” 2) California police beg people flocking to the Phish festival this weekend to not puff cheeba; and 3) Students of magic class geared to help guys score women rave about the results. … Three names being thrown around by baseball insiders as to top Red Sox targets this offseason: Adrian Gonzalez, Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera. Hot-stove talk is mostly rumors so the odds of one of these three making it to Fenway are slim (although Fielder makes more sense if you consider the Brewers not wanting to shell out a huge, long-term deal for the stud hitter), but one thing that is ure is taht the Sox will not go another offseason without making a big move. They sat and watched New York make three big moves and are now watching New York in the World Series. … The Brett Favre talk will reach an all-time high this weekend when the Vikings travel to Lambeau Field to battle the Packers. We won’t get into that, but we will get into ticket prices. Currently, $50 tix are selling for around $300 and people are scrambling to find them for the big contest. Police are even warning about several scams including counterfeit tickets for the game. … Today would have been Decent artist Bob Ross’ 67th birthday if he hadn’t died of cancer in 1995. Did you know that Ross, famous for making those beautiful, quick paintings on PBS for many years, taught himself to paint to fast while he was in the Air Force and had very short breaks during the day and needed to paint to make extra money? … Triva: Which two former Denver Broncos running backs who share today as a birthday are both currently in prison? That would be former Ohio State star Mauirice Clarett (26) and Travis Henry (31). Clarett has his own blog in prison, although he hasn’t updated it since August, and Henry is serving three years in federal prison for being “the ruthless money guy in a cocaine trafficking ring.” … Finally, happy 28th birthday to swimming hottie Amanda Beard. She has won seven medals over three Olympiads (including three golds), has appeared in Sports Illustrated, FHM, has made several TV appearances as a sports correspondent, and even got naked for Playboy and a PETA ad. Pretty decent. … Expect to see more nuggets of decency injected into The Community’s Facebook group. Stay tuned.

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More Cottage Cheese Please!

Posted on October 28, 2009 by tubesteak

Chocolate Flavored Cottage Cheese

Cottage cheese is one of the most healthy snacks around. Why don’t women produce more of it? And why do some people find it so repulsive? There are probably starving kids in Africa who would give one of their eyeballs to wolf down some helpings of cottage cheese.

Mention cottage cheese around ladies and they’ll start fuming. When did cottage cheese become so taboo? Do people all of sudden hate things that are high in protein? Does its chunkiness turn people off? I would think just the opposite!

Decent Community would like reverse this “off limits” classification of cottage cheese and turn it into “very on limits.” As in, let’s talk about cottage cheese like we talk about any other food. Let us devour everything cottage cheese, because each little lump of that shit is like fruit on a tree — sprouting from womens’ buttocks and thighs, sliding into our yearning mouths, and roosting in our grateful stomachs.

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Decent Site of the Week: Championship Ranch

Posted on October 27, 2009 by tubesteak

Decent Community is going back to the archives today to check out Championship Ranch — “a website dedicated to champions and glory.” A very fine premise indeed! And with a legendary slate of contributors that included big names like Muffler, Frank, Sportsman, JonerBoner, Milldog, and the estimable Misterbeef – this was a can’t lose website. Then came February 3, 2008 — Super Bowl XLII – and just like that, Championship Ranch basically vanished into thin air!

A quick visit to The Ranch and you’ll immediately sense the promise that once was. No question — The Community longs for the day when this New England pecka-head sanctuary is running again at full throttle. Until then, we can only reminisce about champions, glory, and the character-filled ranch where it all seemed to come together.

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What a Decent Day in Sports

Posted on October 27, 2009 by fugaze

Five years ago today was the second and last time I shed tears watching sports.

Why you ask? Because on Oct. 27, 2004, The Boston Red Sox won the World Series. I remember Keith Foulke getting Edgar Renteria to ground out. I remember Doug Mientkiewicz catching the ball and leaping into the air. I remember the fans in St. Louis chanting “Thank You Red Sox.” I remember calling my father after the shock set in. I’m sure most Sox fans remember calling their fathers at about the same time. I remember people driving through New Bedford honking their horns. I remember the long lines outside every bar in the city. I remember picturing in my head every Sox fan that I’ve ever met leaping into the air and hugging each other like I was doing.

But today is more than just the five-year anniversary of the Sox World Series title. It’s also the start of the 2009-2010 NBA season, which means another winter of Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen kicking ass at the new Boston Garden. The Green open in Cleveland tonight against LeBron James, Shaq and the Cavs at 7:30 p.m. (TNT). The addition of Rasheed Wallace and the evolution of Rajon Rondo make the Celtics a championship contender. My prediction: 61-21, Celts over the Cavs in 7 in the East finals before taking down the Lakers in 6 to win their 18th NBA Championship.

Let the games begin.

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Decent Cartoons

Posted on October 26, 2009 by fugaze

Talking about classic cartoons is always a delightful trip down memory lane. Remember those days after school and on weekends watching Woody Woodpecker, Bugs Bunny, The Jetsons or The Flintstones?

About.com recently put together a list of the Top 50 Cartoon Characters. It’s a good read with pictures and short explanations of the ranking. The top 10 are Bugs Bunny, Homer Simpson, Mickey Mouse, Bart Simpson, Charlie Brown, Fred Flintstone, The Grinch, Popeye, Wile E. Coyote, and Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Pretty decent list, but here are some that in my opinion are a little out-of-place.

Most Overrated

No 7. The Grinch: Iconic, yes, but to make the top 10, you should have more than just one seasonal special.

No. 16 Mr. Magoo: Classic, yes, but not mainstream enough to be ahead of Woody Woodpecker (No. 38), Tweety Bird and Sylvester (No. 24), etc.

No. 22 Gumby: Not a cartoon. Enough said.

Most Underrated

No. 15 Scooby-Doo and Shagy: These guys have to be in the top 10. Period.

No. 34 Yogi Bear: So being smarter than the average bear only gets you to No. 34. The 10-15 range sounds more suiting.

No. 39 Tom and Jerry: When a cartoon has been around in one format or the other since the 1940s, the top 10 should be automatic.

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Decent Site of the Week: Badass of the Week

Posted on October 23, 2009 by tubesteak

In a similar vein as Decent Community’s Decent Bastard of the Week, but a bit more hardcore/serious, Badass of the Week offers a “relentless onslaught of badassitude [that] is guaranteed to get you so pumped up that you will want to quit your crappy job, smash your office desk into splinters with your forehead and start a new career as a professional face-wrecker.”

Well written, and featuring dudes such as Darth Vader, Ivan Drago, Steve Irwin, Evel Knievel, Predator, and Zeus, Badass of the Week exists to ”satisfy your insatiable desire to read about grown people punching each other in the mouth or beating each other about the head and neck in a most furious manner.” Check it out. It’s a solid, fun, and usually interesting read.

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Decent Football Picks, Week 7

Posted on October 23, 2009 by fugaze

So who's the only guy in a suit for the plane ride to London?

Last week, I wondered aloud about how terrible Oakland was. Richard Seymour and the Raiders then go out and beat Philadelphia. Guess Oaktown wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I do know this: The Raiders are better than the St. Louis Rams.

How bad are the Rams? The Patriots scored more points in one snow game than the Rams have scored all season (59-54) and are in dead last in team offense and only better than the Lions in team defense. History shows that teams that spend top-5 picks on linemen usually improve but rookie left tackle Jason Smith was benched two games into the season for horrible play and last year’s top pick, defensive end Chris Long, has yet to record a sack this year. They haven’t won a game in more than a year (Their last win came against Dallas on Oct. 18, 2008). Ironically, The Pats started St. Louis’ current 16-game losing streak with a 23-16 win in Foxboro on Oct. 26, 2008, when New England scored 10 unanswered points for a come-from-behind victory. 

The St. Louis brass was almost ready to completely throw in the towel earlier this week when they tried to work out a deal with the Patriots for star running back Steven Jackson. The Pats had their eye on Jackson in the 2004 NFL Draft but ended up taking Vince Wilfork with the 21st pick. Jackson went 24th to St. Louis. In the end, newsroom sources say the asking price was too high (possibly two first-round picks) so the Pats will have to get by with Kevin Faulk and BenJarvis Green-Ellis for the time being.

You didn’t know that last week was Lucky 7s Week at Decent Community? I didn’t either, until Helmet, Tubesteak and myself all went 7-7 last week. Stranger things have happened … on Star Trek. I don’t gain any ground and sit in the basement at 41-48 while Helmet (54-35) maintains his lead over Tubesteak (47-42).

Anyway, here are the lines on this weekend’s games straight from Caesar’s Palace in Vegas: San Diego (-4½) at Kansas City, Peyton Manning (-13) at St. Louis, Chicago (+1½) at Cincinnati, Green Bay (-7½) at Cleveland, Minnesota (+4) at Pittsburgh, New England (-14½) vs. Tampa Bay in London, San Francisco (+3) at Houston, Mark Sanchez (-6) at Oakland, Buffalo (+7) at Carolina, New Orleans (-6½) at Miami, Atlanta (+4) at Dallas, Arizona (+7) at New York Giants and Philadelphia (-7) at Washington.

Helmet Head’s Picks: San Diego, Manning, Cincy, Green Bay, Minnesota, Pats, San Fran, Raiders, Bills, Saints, Falcons, Cardinals and Eagles.

Tubesteak: San Diego, Manning, Cincy, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, Pats, Niners, Raiders, Buffalo, Miami, Atlanta, Ny Giants and Eagles.

Fugaze: San Diego, Peyton Manning, Cincy, Green Bay, Minnesota, New England, San Francisco, Oaktown, Bills, Dolphins, Falcons, Giants and Redskins.

So how do we, and my copy of Madden 10, think the Pats will make out in London?

Madden (Pats 47, Bucs 16): Tom Brady shredded Tampa’s weak secondary. Randy Moss and Wes Welker combined for 19 catches for 362 yards and four touchdowns. Brandon Merriweather had two picks and a fired-up Adalius Thomas got the message from his benching last week with eight tackles and a sack.

Helmet Head (Pats 41, TB 6): “Like a nice piece of toast, a nice pair of Umbros, a good ole’ fashion town parade and a pair of stinky socks, the Pats this week will be crisp and crunchy, slick and tight, draw a nice crowd of Pecka Heads and infest the sneaker that is London.”

Tubesteak (Pats 45, TB 0): “Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start. That’s all I have to say about that.”

Fugaze (Pats 49, Tamp Bay 10): I just don’t see a way that Tamp keeps this remotely close — The Bucs are just a pitiful football team. I think they’re going to scrimmage Apponequet on their bye week after coming home from London. The Pats have scored almost 100 more points than the Bucs (163-77) this year. All you guys who play fantasy football should pick up Laurence Maroney right now: Tampa is allowing 177 rushing yards per game. Pats roll, but hopefully not too many offensive linemen come home with those strange European STDs I read about in Time Magazine.

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Thursday Ramblings

Posted on October 22, 2009 by fugaze

With Halloween coming up, the rush is on to find a decent costume to wear. The rush is also on for watchdog groups to get irate at politically incorrect costumes, like the “illegal alien” costume, which is an orange prison jumpsuit with an alien mask and a fake green card. Those looking for a real illegal-alien costume have to go no further than the South End of New Bedford or the fish houses downtown.  … Nothing like a trip down memory lane. IGN.com, a Web site dedicated to video games, movies and music, just finished its countdown of the 100 Greatest Nintendo Games. Good memories clicking through the top 10 and the Web pages look great. For the record, the top three are: No. 3 Super Mario Bros., No 2. The Legend of Zelda, and No. 1 Super Mario Bros. 3. …  Three links for your reading enjoyment this Thursday: 1) Environmentally friendly Berlin whorehouse offering discounts for customers who ride bikes, take public transportation or other “go green” ways to get there; 2) Female firefighters in Australia are given new uniforms that become see-through when wet; and 3) What better place to get married than in a strip club? … So in my Madden 10 franchise mode, I’m in the 2012 season with the Pats. After two seasons, two playoff appearances and zero postseason wins, I won the Super Bowl in 2011 against the Falcons in dramatic fashion. Anyway, I thought it was interesting that only a handful of current Pats are still on my roster: Vince Wilfork, Darius Butler, Pat Chung and Jonathan Wilhite on defense. Brady, Moss, Welker, and Logan Makins are the only ones left on offense. I’ve spent first-round picks on cornerback, running back and right tackle and used second-round picks on a free safety, right guard and some receivers preparing for the day when Moss hangs it up. … Speaking of football, how the hell does Titans coach Jeff Fisher keep his job after such embarrassment last weekend? OK, you’re going against Belichick and it’s snowing, but your team is hungry for a win and you come out and get one of the worst beatings in NFL history. I’ve long considered Fisher one of the top coaches in the game, but the time has come for him to move on. … Happy 71st birthday to the very decent Christopher Lloyd. He played the extremely decent Doc Brown in Back to the Future and had other crazy roles in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Adams Family and Star Trek III. I will always remember Lloyd as Reverend Jim on Taxi, one of the most decent TV shows of all time. Remember this clip, which is played over and over again on those shows counting down the funniest TV moments, when he was taking his driver’s test and asking what a yellow light meant? … Community member Yim asked me to wish a happy 44th birthday to Piotr Wiwczarek, lead singer of the Polish death-metal band Vader. As part of the Monsters of Death Tour, Vader will be performing at the Palladium in Worcester, Mass. on Nov. 5. Sorry, the show is sold out, but Vader will be stopping at The White Eagle before the show for some brews if you wanna chat it up with them. … Finally, happy 35th birthday to Swedish model Helen Svedin. Did you know Svedin is married to arguably the most famous Portuguese soccer player of all time, Luis Figo?

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How Chinese Women Give Their Men Boners

Posted on October 21, 2009 by fugaze

Greeting from The Land of The Rising Sun. That’s right, Fugaze is live here in Shanghai, China as a special judge at the International Lingerie Trade Show. I’ve been eating a lot of fried wontons and seeing a lot of fancy Chinese underwear, and let me tell you, Chinese women have some interesting ways of giving their men stiffys.

First, I’d like to thank the International Lingerie Federation for inviting me to be a special judge. “Dear Fugaze, we in China can’t get enough of Decent Community and would like to extend you an invitation to judge our annual competition based on your knowledge and interest in fine lingerie.” The letter, and the complimentary steak-on-a-stick waiting for me on th private jet were major selling points for my jaunt to Asia for a week.

Anyway, here are the sights from the show. Compliments to Associated Press photographer Eugene Hoshiko, who traded me his camera for a plate of boneless spare ribs so I could take these decent photos.

This hat really made the men in the audience ooh and aah.

Chinese women use the big fluffy brushes on their guy's ... well you can figure that out for yourself.

Black is by far the in color this year for fashion lingerie.

The after party? These ladies, me and a bunch of duck sauce.

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States You Don’t Want To Live In

Posted on October 20, 2009 by tubesteak

Above is the only map I refer to when I’m deciding whether to respect a state or not. It breaks down which states sell bronsons/booze on Sundays. I just moved to Georgia – little did I know! They don’t sell jars of hooch for 50% of the weekend. Fuck me.

I’m guessing non-selling states only do so because they have shitty pro football teams (or they don’t give a shit about their team). Either that, or somehow God sent a message down to law-makers saying “Do not sell booze on Sundays! I will not give you a reason why, but please just trust me!” How absurd is this rule? Is it the most bogus law in the history of mankind? I would say yes.

Filed under: bronsons, local, not decent, politics, questions | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Decent Site of the Week: Dirty Upper Lip

Posted on October 19, 2009 by tubesteak

Decent Community stumbled across a chill little site called Dirty Upper Lip, whose tagline is “Celebrating ’staches that are before their time.” The site features embarassing photos of youngbloods who grow sorry excuses for mustaches (aka guido staches) in an attempt to be stylish.

Dirty Upper Lip is a fairly new site, so their catalogue of stringy ’staches is a little more sparse than we’d prefer. We do, however, love the idea and are looking forward to viewing more adolescent ‘pencil-thins’ in the near future!

NOTE: The site also has an interesting note about an upcoming program called Mustaches vs. Cancer, which may be worth checking out if you like growing mustaches and supporting decent causes.

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Whiteout

Posted on October 19, 2009 by fugaze

Winslow Townson/The Associated Press

 Team records set by the Patriots Sunday in the 59-0 embarrassment of the Tennessee Titans:

  • Most points in a game
  • Most points in a half (45)
  • Most points in a quarter (35 int he second)
  • Most total net yards in a game (619)
  • Most passing net yards in a game (426, tie)
  • Most touchdowns in a game (8, tie)
  • Most passing yards in a half (345)
  • Most passing touchdowns in a half (5)
  • Most passing touchdowns in a game (6)

 NFL records set

  • Most touchdown passes in a quarter (5 in the second)
  • Largest halftime lead (45-0)
  • The win ties the largest shutout victory and the largest margin of victory since the 1970 AFL-NFL merger.

– Thanks to Patriots guru Mike Reiss from ESPNBoston.com

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Al McReynolds Is Our Decent Bastard of the Week

Posted on October 16, 2009 by tubesteak

Amidst a Nor’easter on September 21, 1982, off the Vermont Avenue jetty in Atlantic City, NJ, Al McReynolds landed a 78 lb 8 oz. striped bass — the largest striper ever caught. For this feat alone, Mr. McReynolds has earned Decent Community’s highest honor — Decent Bastard of the Week.

The fish (53″ long, 34 – 1/2″ girth) reportedly took over four hours to reel in. In his account of landing the big one, however, McReynolds claims, “I didnt catch the devil that night… the devil caught me.”

The fascinating, somewhat sad story of this journeyed east coast fisherman has him living in a motel with his family, allegedly selling the mount of his famed striper to pay off a bar tab, getting Christmas Eve word that he won $250,000 as a result of his catch, and his life soon deteriorating as those close to him boiled with jealousy and demanded monetary handouts.

McReynolds has been described as a “kind and sensitive man with little more than an eighth grade education…  His lack of education, inability to read and write and gentle demeanor enabled the exploitation of his record fish.” The now jaded, broke McReynolds says, “I was so miserable. I have yet to sell a hat, beer, or a even a frisbee.”

Still, Al McReynolds will always have the last laugh because he holds the record for catching the largest striper ever. That fish, perhaps the most pursued, saught-after catch in all of angling, remains his alone.

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